This morning, I was scrolling through TikTok—my unofficial therapist—and came across a video of this guy talking about the power of not caring about what others think. Sometimes it’s easier said than done, but it reminded me of the time I received the best advice from a stranger. I was walking around the lake in my neighborhood and came across this really cute boutique I’d never noticed before. It was owned by this stylish Black woman, who, along with her husband, had another business where they would take people on trips to Europe and show them really great places to eat, shop, and enjoy the city like the locals. This boutique was her fun side hobby where she sold things from their travels, and it was only open when they were in the country.
I was having a rough day and started chatting with her about some family issues. She asked, “Why do you care so much?” I was like, um, it’s family! I could instantly tell that this meant nothing to her when she told me to just tell them what they want to hear and do what I want to do anyway. I was like, wait, we can do that?!?
So this is what I was reminded of while watching the video on social media because this guy was talking about the power of not caring about others' opinions and just doing your own thing. He said that when he stops caring, that’s when he gets the most attention, and it made so much sense! He used the example of how he got up to sing karaoke—something he usually doesn't do because he is shy. But this time, he really wanted to do it, so he got over his shyness and ended up blowing everyone away with his skills. Suddenly, people were coming up to him, complimenting him, and buying him drinks. Isn't that crazy how that happens? The moment you stop caring what others think is the moment you lean into being yourself without a care, and that is when people notice you. I think it is the confidence that really draws people in. He went on to say that people don’t dress how they want to dress, talk how they want to talk, or do the things that they really want to do, and then, they are confused as to why they aren't attracting what aligns with who they really are. I thought about this before because I've previously said that I am a visual representation of who I am. I am a billboard, a walking preview if you will. So, if you see me out and about, I’m giving you the gist of who I am as a person. So when you get to know me, you won’t be surprised that I’m more spiritual than religious, that I’m really into hiking and yoga, that I’m a very crunchy, granola, earthy individual who enjoys being active and vibrant, and who’s into the arts and being creative. You wouldn’t be surprised because of the jewelry I wear, the way I do my makeup, how I wear my hair, my style of dress, my verbiage, etc. All of these things give you a preview of who I am. I've always said, if I put out the right advertisement of who I am, I will attract the right people and opportunities.
All in all, you can’t attract the right people if you’re not being yourself. You can be the juiciest peach in the world, but if someone prefers bananas, they're just not going to be interested, and that's okay. It doesn’t make you any less desirable or valuable; it just means you need to find the people who like you for who you are and proudly represent who you are as an individual.
Always Remember:
It is truly freeing when you stop caring about what others think. It’s not only about ceasing to be a people-pleaser; it’s about doing what makes you happy.
Once you shift the energy from being focused on that which is outside of yourself to that which is within, everything that you are supposed to have and experience will come to you because you are finally in alignment.
Stop giving your energy to those who don’t appreciate it. People are energy vampires, and you don’t owe anyone your attention or concern if it drains you. I’m learning to embrace who I am, dress how I want, and live for myself. The right people will see me for me, and I’m excited to keep discovering what that looks like!
Love you lots! – Sacred
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