Believe it or not, I have my moments. Moments of insecurity, fear of lack, anger from disappointments, sadness, all of that. The weight of it all has definitely gotten lighter with therapy which has shown me how to focus on doing things that lift me up when these moments creep their way into my existence. I literally just ask myself, “Monica what will make you feel better at this moment?” and I roll with the healthiest option I can muster at that time. That may be eating chips but not the whole bag. Workout with a boxing YouTube video to get my aggression out while my angry “Bust the windows out your car” music plays. LOL Sometimes it's just going to lay down and take a nap or light my candles and incense. I have to be honest and true with myself in how I feel. I realize that my anger and sadness have a voice that needs to be heard and I'm no longer silencing it by sweeping it under the rug to hide it. I’m dealing with it on a day to day basis by allowing it to express itself in the safest and healthiest way I can at any giving moment. And I’m doing so without any internal judgment because we are all doing the best we can. I read a quote posted in the comments section on Instagram that said, “Anxiety is the conspiracy theorist of your mind.” That was so hilarious to me but so true! Anger, anxiety, depression, all of them are like conspiracy theories planted in your head trying to convince your mind that it is the truth therefore it has to be your reality. When in fact we can choose our own reality, within reason, it’s just not easy to stay there. The state of the world thrives on our insecurities and fear of not having enough or being enough. With the boom of an “everything is great” lifestyle on social media, it has been almost taboo to admit/present anything otherwise. Mental health awareness, and its complexities, is on the rise and I’m grateful for that. But while it’s rising, I still need to create space for myself where I can be real…even when it isn’t popular. I hope that when more people start showing what is real, more people will realize that what they feel is not only normal, but it’s okay. Then we as a community can begin to heal and get the help that is needed. Sending out virtual hugs and blessings to you all. FLL
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